Wednesday, May 31, 2006

List of things I gotta do before I go to Russia

-Fill out a bunch of damn forms

-Get vaccinated for Hepatitis A

-Get checked for HIV (yes, I'm serious about this... Russia has a strict policy for anyone staying longer than thirty days)

-Get a $90 passport

-Get a $90 visa

-Get a $400 laptop from some bargain bin website that sells shit computers

-See if I can get my Financial Aid to cover the trip, and if they don't...

-Cry myself to sleep

-Learn how to say "Fuck you, dogg, I ain't buying no bread that looks like a dude sat on it" in Russian (this will almost definitely come up at some point)

-Prepare for my trip by watching "Dr. Zhivago," "Hunt for Red October," "The Russia House" (which ALSO stars Sean Connery), "Octopussy," "Enemy At The Gates," and "Rush Hour" starring Chris Tucker.
(EDIT: I have been informed that "Rush Hour" has nothing to do with Russia.)

-Find out the legal drinking age in Russia
(EDIT: It's 18! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!)

-Buy a t-shirt that says "America is so much better than Russia" in both English and Russian and wear it every single day while I'm in Russia. The natives will obviously learn how much better America is than Russia after reading my shirt and want to become friends with me.

-Find out how the health care is in St. Petersburg, and whether or not they will cover Americans who have lost three of their teeth after being punched in the face

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it is soooo f fantastic that i codnt stop lawfing :D

1:53 PM  

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