Sunday, June 25, 2006

New comic

That's right. Also, I just noticed that it's been exactly a month since I posted last. Whoops.

Yes, I'm still alive

Sorry about the lack of updates... I've just been really apathetic about all this for a while. I thought I could revitalize my interest in this with that Burning Barrel business, but no one involved seems to want to update their comics (or buy a new computer... RECLAMARE...), so I'm just a little bit off right now.

Plus, I've been a little depressed lately. In addition to the usual "having to find a part-time job" bullshit associated with summer, I also found out something fairly disturbing about our next door neighbors. For the last two years, their dog (who lives in their back yard and is apparently not allowed inside) has barked incessantly, day and night, just loud enough to force me to find a source of white noise to help me sleep. During the winter it's usually a humidifier, and during the summer an air conditioner or a fan pointed directly at my head. This doesn't make for the most comfortable night's rest, but it does the job. However, I noticed last month that the next door neighbor's dog had inexplicably stopped barking, and was now making muted raspy "coughs" instead (which are just as incessant). After a bit of research into the matter, I found out that the owners of the dog were just as annoyed with it as I was and actually had it's vocal cords removed surgically. I just wonder if our other neighbors (who incidentally work for the Spokane Humane Society) had anything to do with it.

Anyway, I guarantee you that I am currently drawing a new comic, which I hope to turn out in the next day or two. I even have two panels drawn and inked, so that should get me started. It will probably be pretty good, but we just won't know until I'm finished, will we?

Thursday, June 15, 2006

100th Post Spectacular-r-r-r-r

Yes, it's been one-hundred posts since I started this retarded (or rather, retarted) blog. To celebrate, I'm going to do something I almost never do: talk about politics.

The Republican Party seems to be rather full of itself right now, what with Rove having gotten away scott-free and Zarqawi being killed. Almost makes you forget about the last six years of total bullshit we've been having to swallow, huh? That's what the Republicans are hoping you'll do in the next four months, anyway.
Ever seem to notice that the Republican Party seems to be on an upturn right before any of their elections? And they get so fucking optimistic about it, too. Go find the nearest Republican you know, and I guarantee you that he will look pretty much like this:

Just like a dog that just scarfed like three pounds of shit. I even drew some shit dribbling out of his bloated lips for effect. You can just imagine that guy about to open his mouth and scream "HA! Rove DIDN'T get indicted even though he committed treason, you LEFTIES!" all with little bits of human shit spraying all over your face.
Of course, I'm only basing this off the few news stories I've read over the last few weeks, including one I heard on NPR from the editor of the National Review, which was basically just five minutes of him saying "Ha ha, that's what you gee-eeeet!" in a sing-songy voice. To be honest, I didn't even know about the National Review until very recently, but it's apparently just a bunch of idiot Republicans saying stupid things like "Closing Guantanamo would be a psychological victory for al Qaeda" and "Democrats will be in one nationwide bad mood come the morning after election day." It also appears to have AT LEAST two black Republicans as contributing writers, meaning that probably about an eighth of all black Republicans work for the National Review.

Let's look at that picture again after having read some of the stories on the National Review.

In other political news, it seems that my old rabble-rousing friend Mike Ramsey just started up HIS OWN blog, which so far is pretty good. If you haven't heard of him, he's the disappearing act that drew Sidwood until he became the political cartoonist for the State News. Since then he has been accused of "being a liberal," "hating our troops," and "not having a clue" by economics and business majors from all over his college campus. I recommend you go check his shit out, and by shit I mean it's "the shit" like I hear kids saying these days.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Hey it's another Webcomics Roundup!

Hello again, folks. As you might remember, I occasionally do a feature here called Webcomics Roundup where I find the five comics that are directly ahead of me in the Buzzcomix rankings and "review" them. I'd like to emphasize those quotation marks around "review," since many of my reviews are really just my angry first impressions after reading the comic for five minutes and closing my browser in disgust.
If you're reading this blog post and you're angry that my review of YOUR particular comic was somewhat lax in the research department, well... I don't really care. If I want to list your name wrong because you made it so hard to find on your site (or you had some shitty guest comic on your front page and I was confused), that's YOUR fucking fault, not mine.
But hey! This isn't a time to be angry! This is fun time! Time to review some potentially great comics! Fun!

1 - Artist Adventure by Drago Draconis

So far so good! This comic seems to be... about... um...
Dammit! I've already reviewed this comic! To quote myself:


To be honest, my last review was a little prejudgmental. I didn't read Mr. Draconis' comic solely because it was a furry comic, and I know that's unprincipled and immature, whatever. I'll give it another try.

Wait, you know what? No I won't. Fuck you, Draco Draconis, or whatever your name is.

Man, that's disappointing. I got started on such a high note, and now I'm just all mad again. Whatever. Let's see what's next.

2 - Angey Aiden's Comic by Aiden Renshaw

Hahahahaha video game comics and random jokes about peeing. Better look out, Penny Arcade.
Oh wait, I just read a few more comics and there's a joke about how a magician is going to turn an apple into something brown and the other guy asks if it's poop and he says it's a candy bar and it appears in the guy's pants and he gets mad and says he will put chiclets in his mouth.

THAT, my friends, is brilliant social commentary.

Okay, I just read his "extras" section, and he has apparently made his first fan video for World of Warcraft. I could let this slide, but the word "first" implies that there will be more of them, and that's just not cool. I'm not even going to watch his video, either, I'm just going to ASSUME that it's a bunch of stupid jokes about how the moderators hate Warlocks or some other stupid shit that I heard a guy talk about at the computer lab while I was trying to type up a paper and he was just so distracting.

3 - Midnight Detectives by Some Fucking Guy Whose Name Wasn't Immediately Obvious (warning: opening up the site causes pop-ups)

Fuck shit. Another furry comic. Whenever I feature one of these, a bunch of idiots who have formed a subculture around drawings of animals who look like people and think that they have animal souls in them find their way onto my board, and I just reviewed TWO furry comics in the same post.

Gotta suck it up, though. Gotta be a man.

Okay, gotta do this fast-like. To start off: furry comic = dumb. Extremely busy and distracting background pictures (which are low-quality screenshots of the comic that have been tiled). Next/previous comic buttons that are hard to find, extremely small, and appear to have been scribbled on with a blue pen. Hell of text bubbles that are just all over the page in an unorganized mess. Characters saying such things as "aroo." Page after page of just character sketches, including Stitch from the Disney movie Lilo and Stitch. And to top it all off, the dude's school made him sign a contract saying he would not draw in school (which is extremely hilarious to me).

Note: I didn't feel like doing enough research on this comic to find out the actual gender of this artist. If you're reading this, Some Fucking Guy, please don't respond with some BS like "lol i'm not a guy" because I don't give even one quarter of a shit.

4 - Blacklight Twilight by "Nekko" (?)

The eternal question: am I allowed to make fun of a comic that has admittedly better art than mine? The answer to this question is variable on the content of the comic. For one thing, the comics are often very busy-looking, making it hard for me to actually read through the comic without occasionally averting my eyes to a tranquil painting of a beach or sunset. I can feel my eyes focus and unfocus of their own accord as I attempt to scan through the archives. Not that the art isn't well drawn, it's just unattractive. It's blurry at times, sketchy at others, and I have to squint at most of the text EVEN THOUGH it is not handwritten. I can't really review further here since understanding the plot requires actually reading the comic, and I don't feel like having the worst headache I've ever had. Plus, I'm pretty sure I saw a half-cat half-human dude there, so this comic gets an automatic F. Which is a shame, really.

Man, I'm getting pretty tired. I don't know if I can do a fifth review. Jeez I'm tired.

Whoof. Okay, I'll try it.

5 - 1980's Cyberpunks with Guitars like in Shadowrun by Italian Dude that just fooled me into looking at an anime comic about "gay love"

Man, what's with all the soap opera comics? Why do people draw this kind of thing? Do they really hope someone will read it? Do they think in their heads "Oh man I hope someone reads my dramatic anime comic"? Why do they spend so much time on the artwork for a comic if the plot is so uninteresting? Will anyone really care if they accidentally misproportion a character if all he's doing is having a boring conversation about coffee? Do they lose sleep at night wondering whether or not their character should get back together with his old flame that dumped him two years ago? Do they REALLY think I want to read word bubbles with emoticons in them?

I've noticed that the people that spend the most time on the art for their comics tend to have the least interesting comics on the internet. Just boring anime shit every time. Conversely, some of the more interesting comics I've seen have extremely simplistic art. Not that there aren't exceptions, but this is what I usually notice after glancing at about 100 webcomics at a time. Artists who can't write, writers who can't draw, and some people who aren't good at either but who still seem to produce thousands of comics.

Maybe I'm just bitter.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Man this shit is too hard

After reading over my list a few times, I've decided that it's way too much work to do in about a week's time before heading off to Russia, and that I'd rather spread all that work over about a year. Just like everything else I do.
Anyway, I'm getting an apartment with my buddy Kyle Chapman, who was actually really eager to share an apartment with me since I'd be paying a goodly portion of the rent. Also, his backup apartment-sharer (in case I actually did end up going to Russia) was actually Kyle McMahon, the real-life person that the character in my comic is based off of. Just so you all know, he's just as belligerent and annoying in real life as he is in the comic, so Chapman was kind of relieved that I was taking his place.

Onto other possible news, Reclamare has our Burning Barrel site done! It is very pretty (I am a big fan of red-orange myself), and it is sure to get us a lot more traffic once we actually start telling people about it. I'm also planning on using the same site to host Biscuits for Breakfast, so that I can start running Google ads on my site and raking in some of that sweet sell-out cash.

Also, I might start following the leads of some of my idols and start selling some of my junk to my fans. Anyone out there want to buy a mosaic painting of an old Soviet propaganda poster that I made for an art class? Or how about a color wheel? I'll do this all eBay style someday.